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7:57 p.m.
2002-04-20

Now that I'm sixteen, living with my mother, and living away from the protection of ever watchful grandparents, I have to answer the question.

"Have a boyfriend yet?"

(I know I've dealt with this horrible question before. There really is no good reasoning behind this question. It's a space filler. If you ask the question of a singleton, you depress her. If you ask it of a girlfriend, she'll bore your ear off with every cute and wonderful thing he does.

It's an evil question. Period.)

When I answer no (because that's the answer they're looking for and any other answer I'd have for them such as "Oh, well, I've been emailing/instant messaging this guy online for a while now" wouldn't go over very well at all) I'm confronted with another question.

"Do you want one?"

How do I answer that? From anyone other than my grandparents, I could roll my eyes and flip out some horribly sarcastic, patronizing remark. For them though, I have to give out the standard, "I have a lot of things on my plate right now, and you know."

This statement is followed by a happy, satisfied sound, and the meant to be reassuring statement of, "Well, that's good. I won't complain about you not dating."

The conversation then shifts to other things, safe, nice topics. I'm left though with the horrendous feelings of guilt. Somehow in one conversation I've been praise for not having a boyfriend, but on the other hand, I have been pitied. It's depressing.

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