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7:42pm
01.09.00

fuck fuck fuck fuck.

I feel like I'm about to burst out in tears any fucking second. Yes, I usually don't cuss here anymore. But fuck. I can't help it. This day has just sucked. Fuck.

About thirty minutes ago there was a message on my Harry board. It was not a nice letter. It told me I was doing things I didn't do. Wow. This whole thing is outta control. Part of me wants to kick some members or staffers off, but I know I can't do that. I just can't do it. I'm tired. I'm something. I don't know what it is. I'm back to feeling how I was at the beginning of the summer. I think I need to find a girlfriend. I've never had a girlfriend. Just to listen, nod, and give me a hug. Fuck it though. I'm happy with school. It's just once I get home. And no it's not dad or Christi. I just don't know. This PMF is getting to me. It's been a month and I'm fucking things up. Fuck.

I have to go.

-mariel

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