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8:34 pm
03.05.01
What an abso-frieakin-lutly wonderful day.
I look cute today. Literaly. Dennis just said I look like a hyper 7th grader. I'll let you decided.
So all day long I've been acting like an almost hyper-active 7th grader. There's just something about pig-tails that takes over your mind.
But, this morning got off to a good start. I got a new notebook, and writing in it is lovley. Sex Ed was much more relaxed than I thought it would be, even midly entertaining. Mind you, this is day one, I'll keep you posted.
Seventh Hour Creative Writing was another do nothing day. I asked my teacher if I could use her computer to type a piece for my autobioraphy. I typed it up, and then got on the net, so I could email it to myself so that I could make it pretty at home.
What do you know. I have an email in my box, talking about the entry I felt alienated from the family over here. It was written by a lovly man about to become a step-parent, who I think will be a terrific addition his soon to be step-children's lives.
It made me stop and think. I don't know if I really made any sense that entry. I don't begrude Christi anything. She isn't my evil step-mother, hardly. Often, I think she's almost a better parent than dad. She looks out for me, and has never forced a relationship on me. It's happened on it's own.
Because Christi is only about 27, she's almost my big sister. Only, more of a step-sister. Kind, but not really loving. I know she knows she's pretty lucky to have me. Well, she's happy to have me in the aspect that I'm not some child from hell out to kill her, and reunite dad and mom. No way.
If anything, I begrude my dad, for, well, his top proity right now is himself, maybe Chrisit. Those two are certainly at the top. I'm a distant third. That hurts, because he denies it, but in words only. I know that with the baby, I'll become a distant fourth, which most likly explains my feelings mixed emotions. I'm happy because they baby will be first, god knows s/he needs to be, but still.
But he signed his letter with a ps. And that's what totally made it for me. He said he had found me though my mother's diary. He also thought that the two of us would be just fine together. He added a *g* after that statement.
He has seen the real me, if you want to call it that. He's also seen the real mom. He's an innocent thrid party, that thinks we'll make it. That almost makes up for all the resistance from my family.
I've resolved, that the next time a family member starts sending me on a guilt trip, I will calmly inteurpupt and say the following.
" ::person's name here::, I don't expect you to like my desision. It's not the easiest thing in the world for me either to leave Wichita. I'm not asking you to want me to move, but you can support me, and my desicion and still not want me too move. I have about two people, both friends in Wichita who support my desision. The only family member who suports me is Tricia. I have people all over the country supporting me online. I also have an innocent by-stander who has seen the real me, and the real mom, as shown by our diaries. He has faith in us, and that an innocent person thinks we'll be okay, that's enough for me. And quite frankly, I'll be moving in a month, I have plenty to do. And if you aren't going to at least try and act like you support my desision, tell me now. That way you can (drop me off home now/hang up) and I'll contact you before I leave to say good bye. But if you aren't going to be positive, I don't want to be around you."
Yeah, it's long, but really, it explains my feelings. And I will. If my family doesn't want to have to act supportive, fine. I don't have to be around them. I can leave. I do have plently to do in preperation. I don't need negative vibes.
So that was good, that I've decided what to do.
Then, the other great terrific thing, that I just now remembered sucks for me: the Wichita Thunder just fired their sucky-bad-bad-bad coach of four years.
I hated this guy. I loathed him. I swear my cat would have been better.
But wait, this sealed the topping. Jim Latos, a wonderful player, might be coach. I loved that guy. He would be great. That news just sent me sky high. I asked dad if he would go to a Thunder game if Jim was coach. He said. Yeah.
"Who Hoo!" I thought. I'll be going to a Thunder game.
Well, I just remebered. I'll live in Columbia next season. Heh.
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